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Why Men Watch Porn – The Big Elephant In The Room Nobody Wants To Talk About

Let me start this off by saying I’m speaking purely from a male perspective and as a man with plenty of male friends or colleagues throughout my life. I do understand that sex goes both ways, especially good sex.

I think porn is bad, I think all men should stop watching it and the porn industry needs to die. Along with any sex work industry. In my opinion it’s not only bad for men, but also for women.

Research shows that boys as young as 10 are watching adult content. This means that for a lot of boys, their first exposure to sex, is through X rated content. This is worrying when you consider the most popular categories in pornography are things like incest porn, coercion and infidelity.

Fully grown men also suffer from porn watching. It impacts the ability to get turned on by everyday women, it can train your brain into getting attracted to cuckoldry (the act of watching someone else having sex). The most severe impact in my opinion is that porn replaces real women, and one of the greatest motivations for men to get out and better themselves, is to have the ability to attract a real woman, who will grant him sexual satisfaction. However, porn gives them that without the need to do any work.

I do believe it’s the ultimate responsibility of parents to ensure they have all the safety in place and talk to their children about sex. I also think it’s up to grown men to take responsibility and control themselves.

However, as the topic of this article indicates, there is one major elephant in the room I have seen hardly anyone mention when discussing how men can at least find it easier to control their urges to watch porn. Often, I hear women say they feel inadequate when they catch their partner watching porn. They narrative is that women shouldn’t feel this way and my controversial view is that they should, at least in some way. It’s not that the man doesn’t lover their partner anymore, often they still do. But women need to be better and more willing to engage in more regular and exciting sex with their partners to help satisfy his sexual appetite.

I understand that so many women would probably have their back up at this statement, but this is just my opinion based on my many years’ experience speaking to many men. I have played sports all my life and heard men of several different backgrounds talk about sex. Unfortunately, this is a major reason for porn consumption.

The joke is often that sexual passion dies in marriage, and that men often must beg to have sex with their wives. Research shows that women tend to find sex a chore in long term relationships. My discussion with men about this topic supports the research. I get the impression that in comparison to when they were single, sex was more exciting, and their partners often made them feel unwanted sexually by their lack of desire to want to engage in sex.

Research also shows that less than 30 percent of women like giving oral sex. I hate to break it to anyone who didn’t know, but men love blowjobs, it ranks high on the list of things most men could receive on an almost daily basis, if done well. Blowjobs also go a long way to making sex exciting for men. Most men also know that finding a partner willing to do this for them enthusiastically on a regular routine, is near impossible.

Here’s where the elephant comes in…Porn is the fantasy that gives men the sexual satisfaction they don’t get from their real partners. Turn on most porn, and the woman is desperate for sex with the man, she’s willing to do anything he wants, bends anyway and she’s thankful for it. The women in porn are also so attracted to the man (who is usually an average looking guy) that she loses all her decency and self-controls and gets really dirty, sometimes not just sexually just to satisfy him. That’s sexy to a lot of men and it’s why porn is particularly attractive to all men.

Some people mistakenly believe the attraction to pornography for men is because they can watch naked women. But if that’s all it was OnlyFans a service that allows its sex workers to communicate with their often-male subscribers wouldn’t be so popular, as everyone would just watch free porn online. OnlyFans girls provide the slutty girlfriend experience, they can shoot personal videos, send sexy messages and make the man feel wanted, make him feel like she’s lost her self-control just for him. The real turn on is that the women in adult work are proud sluts. Now don’t get me wrong, most men would not marry a porn actress, however, sleep with one is a different matter. What most men want is their wives or girlfriend to be that slut for him alone.

Porn sells that fantasy to men, they can pretend the double D blonde actress with a fake ass wants them and is performing whatever sexual act she’s doing on them, because their wives would never entertain the idea of even considering doing it for them. For most men the perfect woman as Ludacris the rapper eloquently puts it is “A lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed.”

I need to say, there are a lot of disgusting and unrealistic things that go on in porn that most women can’t or shouldn’t do. I’m not suggesting a man wife pretend to be his sister to get him off. However, most men also don’t want the disgusting things for themselves. Yes, infidelity porn and incest porn are popular, but I believe the actual attraction is that the women are so turned on by the man they are willing to break boundaries and lose decency just to satisfy him.

The modern push back to what I’m saying is that should a woman just be at the man’s beckon call to do whatever he wants sexually, whenever he wants? And my answer to do this no, reality doesn’t allow that, we all have work, kids and other responsibilities. However, more communication on the topic of sex, enthusiasm and a little more often would go a long way. Sex ultimately is a duty in a marriage, we hate that word duty, but marriage is still a contract, one that requires each individual to perform their duty to ensure the happiness of the other person. Marriage is the ultimate show of vulnerability because you are placing your happiness in the hands of the other person. In modern society we like to pretend only ourselves are responsible for our happiness, this isn’t true. Once you get married, the other person can seriously mess up your life if they so choose, they can make you miserable, angry and even change you. And despite how many times you look into the mirror and chant your affirmation quotes, you will never be happy if your partner wants to make your life hell. It’s why so many people understandably scared of marriage or long-term relationships. So yes women, it’s your duty to have good sex with your husbands, especially if it makes him happy. If you don’t want that duty don’t get married.

When so many men talk about their partners in a way that suggests she has no sexual attraction to him, that suggests it’s a chore to even give him a blowjob, there’s a world that exists with a few clicks of mouse that presents videos of thousands of women just dying to give them what they want.

Self-control techniques, education and access to resources to help men get off porn is important, access to good sex from a loving woman is also an important part to help men get off porn.